Happiness Archives - Busy Moms Helper

10+ Ways This Momma Handles Stress

March 7, 2015 by Kelly Dedeaux

I’m a really high-stress type of person, always have been. Even with little things, I often feel overwhelmed! Now with such a busy life being a mom, wife, blogger and more, stress really piles on! Over the years I’ve slowly-but-surely found little ways to keep my stress managed, and today I’m sharing with you 10+ Ways This Momma Handles Stress!

Now don’t get me wrong, I still struggle with stress at times, but it’s nothing like how I use to be. I use to break down when I didn’t get my entire (and impossible, I now realize) to-do list done each day, or if I had to tell someone ‘no’ because I couldn’t do one more thing. But there’s plenty I can do to HELP manage my stresses to a manageable level, and it’s made me much happier!

Tips for Managing Stress

1. Get Enough Sleep

I know that’s definitely easier said than done, but feeling rested is so important for our mental and emotional states! I can tell when I’m needing more sleep, and it affects my ability to function properly. If I’m not fully functional, and moody, it’s much easier to let stress overwhelm me.

2. Have RESCUE Products On-Hand

Stress can still creep up on us, or build up to the point we’re just losing it. I know you fellow busy mamas understand that completely! I’m the type who doesn’t want a prescription unless necessary, so I love using RESCUE natural/homeopathic products to help me stress less, stay calm and be more in control.

You can get RESCUE products in a variety of forms, from the Pastilles and Pearls (both shown) to Sleep Liquid Melts and more. The pastilles stay nicely in my purse when I’m on-the-go, and I love how the pearls are so tiny and quickly dissolve on my tongue…super convenient!

RESCUE products are gentle and safe, not habit-forming and with no side effects. Last thing I want when feeling stressed, or trying to avoid it, is weird side affects! You can grab them at CVS, Walgreens, Whoe Foods, Spouts and other stores that carry natural products! You can even get a BOGO coupon HERE!

3. Eat Healthy

Our diet can affect all sorts of hormones and chemicals in our body, so eating healthy is crucial to staying balanced and more able to manage our stress. This doesn’t mean no sweets or treats ever, or I’d be in major trouble! Sometimes even just EATING something can help my stress levels go down, since hunger brings out my ‘moody’.

4. Coloring or Other Monotonous Activities

I’m not an artist. At all. But I do love to sit with a random coloring book and just color with my kiddos…or by myself! Sometimes doing an activity that is just the same, same, same can help us let our minds wander, let go of some things that are causing stress, and let our body’s hormone levels correct. Painting, for me at least, is another great way!

5. Turn Up the Tunes

Songs can have a HUGE impact on how we feel, so when stress is getting the best of me, I love turning up some fun dancing music and just rocking out. I don’t dance well, mind you, but it really helps lift my spirits and gets me active…which leads us into…

6. Exercise

This one’s probably the hardest for me! Exercising not only releases good chemicals in your brain, but keeps you feeling healthier, which definitely helps your moods. It can also affect the way you view yourself (body image, confidence, pride in working out, etc.) which may be a stress in and of itself!

7. Meditate/Relax

You don’t have to sit there going ‘Hmmmm….Hmmmmm’ for an hour, but just sitting or laying down while allowing yourself to RELAX can do wonders for managing stress. You never know, while meditating you may mentally solve some problems that have been causing you stress!

8. Take Time For Yourself

I use to feel so guilty taking time for me, especially for extended amounts of time. But then I heard the airplane story…you know you’re suppose to put on YOUR oxygen mask before helping someone else, right? That’s life! If you’re not taken care of, you certainly can’t help others to the full extent. So drop the guilt and find something to do for you…read a magazine, hide in the closet with your favorite treat, have a big girls weekend…just something.

9. Be social

We’re busy, so where in the world do we find time to be social with actual ADULTS?! A 30-minute phone call with a good friend can make a big difference – maybe even to you both! Or taking your kids to the park for a playdate…for the kids AND the moms.

10. Don’t Try To Be Perfect

I know a lot of moms and women, and I think one of our biggest struggles is thinking we need to be perfect. Guess what? WE CAN’T! Seriously, nobody can be perfect, so why hold ourselves to that impossible expectation? This is my biggest stress in my life right now…trying to be perfect at everything. I’m slowly learning, though, that by attempting that, I actually do worse at almost everything because when I fail (because perfection is IMPOSSIBLE), I get stressed. When I get stressed, I can’t function as well. It’s a vicious cycle. So do well at things…try your best, work hard…but accept and be happy that your best IS good enough!

What are YOUR best tips for handling stress?

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Why I Left My Husband

December 31, 2015 by Kelly Dedeaux

Yes, it’s true, I up and left my hubby, kids and dogs this month….for an entire week! Although some friends have asked how I could be so selfish, I want to explain Why I Left My Husband, and You Should, Too! It could make your relationship, and yourself, better than ever!

I find it also ironic that I’m sharing this post on our 8th Wedding Anniversary! Before everyone gets all crazy and relatives start calling my phone non-stop, let me explain. Just before New Year’s I found out that I had a chance to attend Click Caribbean Retreat from January 10th-17th. It was a great opportunity to better my photography and blog, make connections with other bloggers, as well as enjoy some ‘me time’ on a Royal Caribbean cruise for the whole week!

At first, I brought it up with Hubby as a part of normal conversation about something interesting, not really serious about it. He, on the other hand, was all for me ditching the family to attend! The more we talked about it that night, the more I understood his point of view – I’m a stay-at-home mom. Honestly, my personality isn’t made for that, and it’s tough, but I am because it’s what we think is best for our family. It’s a huge challenge, and he knows it takes a toll on me. Between being a wife and mother, plus working on my blog full-time, life has gotten so stressful, and I finally realized I was burnt out. I didn’t FEEL like myself anymore, just like a person who needed to focus on everyone else 24/7. So I left all these cuties….

….and about half-way through the trip I felt completely different! So here’s my Top 5 Reasons that it’s good to have a little time for yourself!

#1: Learn to Make Friends

Hubby and I are best friends, and honestly don’t socialize much beyond each other. So attending an event, for an entire week, without him really forced me out of my comfort zone! After the first few days, I realized that I relied heavily on him, but now I was making friends and connections all on my own. I was the one starting conversations with new people, asking questions during classes, and even feeling confident enough to go on my own instead of with a large group two of the days!

#2: Build Your Own Confidence

Self-confidence is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. This time away from my ‘security person’ was a huge changer for me, though! I was noticing myself improve in my photography skills, realized people WANTED to talk with me, and felt proud in the progress I was making not only for my blog, but for me as an individual.

#3: Recharge and Renew

Motherhood is exhausting! Raising the kids, playing, cleaning, plus add on all the work of managing my business and it was just SO MUCH! This time away gave me some much needed recharging time (I won’t say ‘rest’ because, honestly, we didn’t sleep much!). I spent time getting MYSELF ready each day, instead of being too busy focusing on the kids’ clothes and me sticking with the usual yoga pants. I took time to read for fun, went dancing with the gals, explored the ship for the heck of it, and did what I wanted to do. This was ‘me’ time, and it was long overdo!

#4: Let Your Mind Explore

Women tend to have a lot on their mind, constantly. Toss in all our roles like parenting, church stuff, neighborhood happenings, work, household agenda and menus….our brains to really have room to just wander much. When I didn’t have to focus on all my normal family and home duties, I was able to really think about some things that I just flat out didn’t have the time for before. Because of this, I’ve got some MAJOR ideas that I’m super excited about in the coming year or two!

#5: Stronger Relationships with Your Family

When the week was over, and I made it home, everything was wonderful. The kids were still perfectly fine, the house hadn’t burned down, and they were just as excited to tell me about THEIR week as I was to tell them about MINE! While I was away having a whole new experience, Hubby and the kids were having their own little ‘adventure’ here without me, helping them grow in other ways to something out of the norm. Since I’m in a better position mentally and emotionally, I’m more fun to be around. Hubby loves how excited I am about my ideas I got while away, and we’re closer than ever because I truly feel like ME again!

My relationship with Hubby wasn’t the only one that got better! My kids have noticed I feel more energized because of my renewed love of life and my goals. Having that time away made me appreciate each of them more, and they seem to recognize my service in their lives, also.

Overall, the Click Caribbean Retreat was AMAZING for so many reasons like the people, classes and the cruise itself (more to come on all those later!), but the absolute most amazing part of it was MY OWN personal growth and re-energizing! We get so caught up with our roles for OTHERS, we forget about OURSELVES. This quote is the PERFECT way to describe it….

Happy Anniversary to the most amazing, wonderful husband and best friend ever! I love you so much!

Stay Tuned for More Click Caribbean Retreat Recaps, Coming Soon!

Ten Ways to Show Hubby You Care (and save time, too!)

January 14, 2015 by Kelly Dedeaux

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #DropShopAndOil #CollectiveBias

So you may think your honey is the absolute most amazing thing this side of anywhere, but I gotta say that mine is the BOMB-DIGGITY! Seriously, he does so much for our family and treats me WAY better than I deserve. Lately I’ve been trying extra hard to return the love and treat HIM like he’s everything, because he is! If you’re wanting to do a little extra, too, here are Ten Ways to Show Hubby You Care (and save time, too!)

Wonder why I added the bit about saving time in there? Because we’re women…BUSY women! We have jobs to work, houses to clean, food to make, and kids to chase. We really would give our men all the time in the world if we could, but it’s usually not realistic. So saving some time while going the extra mile is a big deal. I mean, this blog IS called Busy Mom’s Helper, so let’s get to helping!

#1: Make Him a Nice Morning Drink

Before he heads out to work (or you head out, whichever comes first), fix him one of his favorite drinks. A coffee, hot chocolate, chai tea, apple juice, or milk…whatever it is, it’s a thoughtful act during one of the most rushed times of day. It not only shows you care, but can put him in a bright mood for the day! That can make you feel good for CAUSING him to be happy, which lets your morning be less chaotic.

#2: Lay Out His Clothes For Him

At night, lay out his work or casual clothes (or grubs, whatever!) for him so in the morning he doesn’t have one more thing to worry about. It doesn’t take you long, he’ll feel your support, and guess what…saves you time in the morning! Woot woot!

#3: Listen WELL When He Talks

Instead of just thinking about what you’re going to say next, REALLY listen to what you sweetie is saying. He’ll not only feel like you care and that what he has to say is important, but listening well will prevent anyone having to repeat (or possibly missing something important) so will save you time!

#4: Take Care of the Oil Change on the Vehicles

No, I’m not being sexist here saying that ‘usually’ men take care of the auto stuff. In fact, Hubby and I split it pretty evenly! But it IS nice for him when I just swing by Walmart’s Automotive Care Center, leave our van or car with them to get our oil changed, and even get my shopping done at the same time! It takes me hardly ANY extra time than errands already would have, and now HE doesn’t have to use his lunch break to take it in.

I also make the right decision to get Pennzoil for our vehicles, since Hubby loves it when we take the best care of our vehicles. Why is it better? All Pennzoil products help clean out sludge lesser oils leave behind and are designed for complete protection to allow you to drive an extra of 550 miles per year vs. a dirty engine. No other motor oil provides better protection from friction. We want our cars to last a LONG time, without expensive maintenance, so this simple choice will really help! With this particular trip, I had my little Green Lantern boy with me to help out!

They also offer specific types so you get the best thing for YOUR vehicle. For our van we use Pennzoil’s High Mileage Vehicle Oil because it helps to reduce leaks and oil consumption in worn or higher mileage engines, and ours is older with lots of miles. It’s a motor oil that is specifically designed for new or late model vehicles with over 75,000 miles, to help keep the engines running clean and going strong for a long time.

Not only that, but a total surprise to me was that they REALLY vacuumed it out! Normally I would be horrified to share pics of the interior of our van (we have 4 young kids and 2 dogs that sometimes join us for rides…it’s not particularly clean – plus it’s older)…but look at this!!!

Even Green Lantern was thrilled at our ‘pretty’ new ride!

#5: Praise Him in Front of the Kids and Your Friends

This is such a good thing, because it helps boost his confidence, shows you truly love and appreciate him, and teaches your kids about good, healthy relationships at the same time. I’ve noticed that the more I praise Hubby in front of them, they also show praise and gratitude more!

#6: Allow Him Time to Unwind When He Gets Home

After spending all day with the kids, cleaning the house, working on the blog, it’s really hard to not bombard him the minute he walks in the door, especially since it’s RIGHT at dinner time! But giving him a few minutes to just breath, put his stuff away, and adjust really helps the rest of our evening go smoother and with much less tension. A good smooch or two wouldn’t hurt, either!

#7: Apologize When Necessary

Holding on to grudges and letting your pride drag out arguments is so draining, and has an affect on the whole household. Instead of making it last, just apologize, make amends, and move on. Less time fuming over little things!

#8: Pack His Favorites for Lunch

It really doesn’t take long to add a few extra things to a sandwich so it’s extra tasty, or throw in his favorite few already cut up for him. He works hard (not saying we don’t, but this is about him), so something extra special in the middle of the day can really make him feel loved.

#9: Hang or Fold His Clothes the Way HE Likes

Some guys (and gals) have a particular way they like their clothes hung up. My honey has his work shirts organized by colors. I try to make sure to put them that way, so he can find things easier and….duh da dun….save time searching! When putting clothes away, I also fix the pockets on his pants. They tend to get all funky during washing, so fixing that for him makes it even better when he gets dressed. I honestly don’t know if he ever notices that, or does it himself when he puts laundry away, but even secret acts of service for him are excellent!

#10: Give Him Love Notes

Isn’t it super fun to stick short, sweet love notes in his car, or pocket, or backpack? Just be careful it’s not TOO sweet, in case it falls out during a meeting at work! You can even hide it with a secret treat for him, like a little candy or snack!

Bonus: Surprise Him With a Lunch Out

How happy would it make him to find a gift card so he can go out to lunch every once in awhile? Since we try to save money by packing lunches, my hun misses out on a lot of socializing with his coworkers who DO go to lunch regularly. I know he really enjoys it when he can join in!

What are YOUR favorite things to do for your special someone?

Have a ‘Me Moment’ with Ice Cream Flavored Yogurt

January 9, 2015 by Kelly Dedeaux

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #MullerMoment #CollectiveBias

As busy moms, wives & women, we spend a lot of our energy and focus on others. It’s our nature, I think, to put others first. This is definitely a wonderful thing, but not when we never give OURSELVES some attention. I’m guilty of this plenty, so one of my goals this year is to make sure to Have a ‘Me Moment’ regularly, and give myself a little extra love every now and then!

I sure seem to have made a lot of goals for myself for 2015! The good part is that they’re major ones that I’m taking baby steps towards, not a giant leap at all once! Like this goal of focusing on myself a bit more…right now I’m just taking a few minutes every here and there each day. My favorite time to do this? When I’ve earned (or really, really want!) a little treat without having to share. Let’s be honest, it’s pretty rare we get to enjoy our own little indulgence without sharing at least some with our kids, right?!

I found this NEW product at Walmart, and was super excited to try it out because it sounded AMAZING! Right there in the fridge section along the wall, with all the other yogurts, is a new one: Müller® Ice Cream Inspired Yogurt.

I. Love. Ice cream! Seriously, it’s just so good, with all the different flavors, and you can mix all these different things with it….super creamy and flavorful and delish…..ya. I really enjoy ice cream! So of course I HAD to give these a try, and grabbed all three flavors my store had: Vanilla Bean, Mint Chocolate Chip and Raspberry Chocolate Chip. Drooling yet?

What’s great is that there’s a Müller® coupon promotion: Take $1 off 5 Müller® Yogurts (offer valid from January 4 – February 15, 2015) in the Jan. 4th Sunday paper! This is a killer deal, so be sure to check that out!

So this week it’s been my little secret ‘Me Moment’ for myself. I literally HIDE from my kids in my closet…..don’t panic, it’s only a few minutes and I make sure they’re perfectly fine playing first…and sit there enjoying one of these ridiculous delicious yogurts. Here’s my special ‘Me Moment’ place….

Nothing exceptional about it, other than it’s quiet, open, and I get some time for just ME. Anywho, I sit there right beside my shoe organizer and enjoy Every. Single. Bite. So far my favorite (although they’re all fabulous) is the Vanilla Bean made into this creamy parfait.

Ingredients

Müller® Ice Cream Inspired Yogurt – Vanilla Bean Flavor
1/2 – 1 cup Raspberries, just slightly frozen
1/4 cup Chocolate Chips

Directions

You can layer it for appeal, such as a thin layer of the Vanilla Bean Yogurt, half the raspberries, then the rest of the yogurt, remaining berries and sprinkle on the chocolate chips.
Or just mix them all together, if that’s more your style!

The important thing here isn’t to get the perfect recipe…it’s that us women tend to do a LOT for others, and that’s great. But we definitely need and deserve some time to refresh, unwind and not feel like we must focus on a dozen others at that moment.

Because that moment, is a ‘Me Moment’!

I spilled the ‘beans’ on my special ‘Me Moment’ place…what’s yours?

Join the Love Letter of the Month Club!

January 5, 2015 by Kelly Dedeaux

This amazing post contains affiliate links & helps support this blog. See my Disclosure Policy for more info!

One of my goals this month is to work on my relationship with Hubby. It’s already pretty dang amazing, but I want to take it way up and beyond FABULOUS! One way I’m planning to do this is with The Dating Divas Love Letter of the Month Club! Here’s what they have to say about this amazing resource to help you bring a bit more romance and spark into your love life!

Our exclusive printable love letter kit contains beautiful stationary, fun writing prompts, and SO MUCH MORE! Surprising your loved one with heartfelt messages ALL YEAR LONG doesn’t have to be a time-consuming, tedious process where you literally spend hours agonizing over what to say. Nope! Here’s a tried and true formula.

I’ll admit. I’m a words lover. I love to write. I love to read. And I love, love, LOVE to talk. My husband…well… He’s not a words lover. He’s a touch and time and watch-a-movie-and-snuggle with me kind of guy. And it’s wonderful. But, sometimes, all I want is a thoughtful love letter left on my pillow. A surprise note in my purse. A sticky note on the back of my phone. Or – most amazing of all…a well-thought out, impeccably written love letter. Every month. For twelve months. Swoon. Enter The Dating Divas!

Oh, just the thought of my husband doing this gets me excited! The world just simply needs more love in it, and, in particular – more beautifully written love letters. Think like…Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” style love letters. Yep. “You have betwitched me body and soul”. Yes. Just yes. So why not invite your spouse to be part of the Love Letter of the Month club? Shower them with twelve beautifully written love letters, one for each month of the year!

I sometimes think of Mr. Darcy with his quill pen, slaving over those amazing letters he wrote for Lizzy for hours on end. Well, guess what? Writing a quality love letter to your words-lover spouse doesn’t have to be tedious! The Divas have made it super easy, and they have thought of everything! All it takes is the winning formula:

My favorite thing in this entire pack is the “anatomy of a love letter”. Move over, Mr. Darcy. Your love letters have suddenly become super-doable!

Look at these darling tips!

But why stop at just love letters? They also threw in these darling printables to include a favorite treat with each letter! Oh, this product speaks to me…

Worried about writers block? Don’t be. They have even put in writing prompts, to get the creative juices flowing each month!

And the STATIONARY! Oh, the stationary! Isn’t it just darling? Could you imagine love letters written JUST FOR YOU on this paper?

Okay…how cute it this? They even included embellishments for a darling mailbox to put them in! Can’t you just picture this on the kitchen table, eagerly awaiting for your spouse one morning? {Or…let’s face it. For me. I WANT THIS FOR ME. SOMEONE TELL MY HUSBAND.}

Or – you can use their done-for-you wildly creative delivery ideas! Check out this love note balloon – isn’t it the cutest?!

And these embellishments! I love that they can be used on so many things, besides super cute love letters! I’m thinking Valentine’s Decor…anyone else?

I seriously just can’t get enough of this product. Isn’t it gorgeously fun? If you are married to a Words Lover {like my poor husband}, this is a MUST! And guess what? It’s on sale for only $5.97 right now! I know…I can’t believe it either! Better nab it up while you can!

Download it today, and start sharing the love!

Find it Here

Help this Holiday with The Great American Milk Drive

December 10, 2014 by Kelly Dedeaux

Even though we should be helping others all year long, there’s something even more special about service during the holidays. It’s easy to get caught up with the presents and great food. The holidays come once a year, but for 1 in 5 children hunger comes every single day. Let’s make an extra effort to Help this Holiday with The Great American Milk Drive!

I’ve mentioned a couple times before, but this time of year really brings back special memories for us. Just a couple years ago we were struggling pretty badly, hardly able to make ends meet for our little family as we did our best to work, finish our schooling and be there for our kids. I even remember clearly a year when I had to carry my kids from the car inside because I couldn’t afford to get them sneakers, or thick coats. We lived in Northern Utah, so with feet of snow on the ground, that wasn’t wise.

Every year, though, we received SO MUCH love, support and help during the holidays. Even writing this blog post, tears come to my eyes as I remember the joy we felt. An entire turkey dinner left in a huge box on our door. Gift cards for groceries and clothes, so we were able to get those shoes and coats. A hand-sewn dress for little Wonder Woman, plus other toys and gifts so we had something under our tree for the kids. We received envelopes of money from anonymous families. Yup, I’m bawling now! I’ve never felt so much love and care from complete strangers (or friends, not sure who) as I did those years of struggling. They taught me about service, the joy of giving, and I knew that we wanted to instill that love of giving to others into our children.

After college, Hubby was able to get a really great job, and while we’re not ‘well off’ by any means, we’re no longer struggling. We can even afford some luxuries like birthday parties, occasional vacations, and our kids are appropriately clothed. We don’t have to worry about how we’re going to afford groceries each week, and if an extra pack of cookies ends up in our cart, it’s not the end of the world. I’m so grateful for those years of struggling, because I know now how blessed we are. I can truly appreciate all we have, and can feel what others who ARE struggling are going through. I’m so glad to be in a position where WE can help others, and can set that amazing example for our kids.

Since Santa gets PLENTY of milk at Christmas, The Great American Milk Drive is asking that we donate his milk to help those in need. Did you know that families that depend on Feeding America food banks receive less than one gallon of milk per person, per year? Our family of 7 now goes through about 1 per person each WEEK! I’m sure the Jolly Ol’ Elf will be more than happy to do with one less gallon or two this season in an effort to make the holidays more memorable for others.

For every share of this video, a gallon of milk will be donated to a local food bank.

I think this is such a fun way to get our kids involved! We did a fun idea where instead of putting milk in our ‘Santa’ glass, we stuck in some money. Then we can donate that money to The Great American Milk Drive to go to those who really need it! You can even show your kids their website, and put in the state where you live….it shows you exactly how many gallons have been delivered in your state, and how many people are served by the food banks. Here’s a screen shot of how much they’ve helped in our state of Texas!

Want to help? Here’s how!

Make a donation online. Starting Giving Tuesday (December 2) through December 31, America’s dairy farmers and milk companies will match all donations made at www.MilkLife.com/give making milk gallons multiply at your local food bank this holiday season. By entering your zip code, you can ensure that milk is delivered to a local food bank to help nourish children in your own community.
Spread the word. For every share of this Great American Milk Drive video, a one-gallon donation will be made to one of the more than 200 food banks served by Feeding America.

So this year, give Santa a break and donate your milk to someone who REALLY needs it! Trust me, those you help will be forever grateful!

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.