Parenting: When I don’t want to be MOM
Guys, parenting is EXHAUSTING. I never knew how tired and just completely burned out I could feel until I became a parent. I love my kids, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I just don’t want to be MOM. And guess what? That’s perfectly okay!
It’s okay to want a break sometimes, or to sometimes wonder why the heck you signed up for this whole motherhood thing. Those are completely normal things to think on occasion – just ask practically any other parent! I use to feel like I was a HORRIBLE mom whenever I thought ‘oh, I miss being able to do this’ or ‘wow, if I didn’t have the kids to worry about then I’d have more energy’ or a number of other things.
Does that mean I don’t EVER want to be mom? Absolutely not! Does it mean we love our kiddos any less, even at the second we’re having those thoughts? Nope! It just means we get tired, and sometimes it’s nice to think about a break, or what we’d do if we weren’t busy parenting.
The good news? We can still be great parents and take ‘breaks’ from being a mom. For example, on date night – focus on being a WIFE/GIRLFRIEND. Focus on each other, take a rest from being the parents. At work you can be BOSS or BUTT-KICKING CONSULTANT or whatever you do.
And at the same time – you’re an awesome mom. I think one reason I use to feel guilty about thinking of things other than that particular role in my life was because we’re sometimes led to believe that should be IT. While motherhood is SUPER important – I can’t stress how much, because it’s one of the absolutely most important things there is – it doesn’t have to be our ONLY calling.
Plus, we’re perfectly capable of being a mom, wife, worker, volunteer, leader – whatever we need or want to be at that time. Sometimes we do multiple roles at once, other times one role goes to the background while we focus on another. AND THAT’S TOTALLY FINE – even ENCOURAGED! I’m a much better mom and wife when I get a break sometimes, and I’m sure many of you are the same way. When I finally realized how the occasional travel or get-away made me feel more refreshed, and therefore better able to care for my family, I stopped feeling so guilty about it.
We need to give ourselves – and other parents – a break. Just because you hear someone say ‘wouldn’t it be nice to XYZ, but I can’t because the kids’ – that doesn’t mean they don’t love their kids. It doesn’t mean they want out, or even that they regret being a parent. It just means we have other dreams sometimes – real or not – and are often really tired from that role. It’s NORMAL.
So cut yourself some slack. Go on a date or girl friend lunch instead of cleaning those dishes. They’ll still be there later (whether we want them to be or not). Let yourself have an identity that may include mom, dad or parent – but can also include a number of other titles.
What are some of YOUR current life roles?
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